Celebrating a Kid’s Birthday During Coronavirus
I’ve written my son a letter every year on his birthday. This year, I’m posting his letter to spread love during these uncertain times.
Dear N,
Yesterday marks four years since you made me a mother, and my heart grew to love in capacities I didn’t know were possible. You have been talking about your birthday party for months; who you want there, what flavor cake you’ll eat & the Thomas characters that will decorate it, the epic dance party we’ll have, the bounce house that’s taller than mommy & daddy combined, the presents you can’t wait to open, the Toy Story shirt you’ll wear, and the Batman face paint you’ll have smeared across your face. This was the first birthday party that was more for you than it was a celebration of us surviving another year along this journey called ‘Parenthood’. My heart aches that I can’t give this to you.
Yesterday, I feared seeing disappointment in your eyes, when all I saw was gratitude and delight. We spent time with our family and friends in San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Sacramento and New York City, all thanks to the uniting power of the Internet. People who normally wouldn’t have been able to celebrate with you, called to sing you Happy Birthday. You weren’t upset they weren’t here in person. You were grateful they showed their love for you.
I recently discovered I’m sensitive to gluten, dairy and eggs. So baking is an adventure of many experimental mishaps. I would’ve baked a practice cake, but the cake mix was cleared out from the shelves weeks ago. Thankfully, mommy’s online shopping habit came in handy and I got cake mix delivered *just* in time. I was literally icing the cake 5 minutes before your ‘Happy Birthday’ call. Your favorite part of the day was eating mommy’s Harold the helicopter cake as a family. You didn’t care how ugly or dry it was, or that mommy only had 3 candles, when there should've been 4. You’ll remember licking the batter off of the spoon and the colorful sprinkles inside the funfetti cake.
You won’t remember that we postponed yours, daddy’s and grandma’s birthday trip to Hawaii. You’ll remember the time we spent in our Tahoe cabin instead, building a snowman, having snowball fights, making snow angels, sledding and hiking.
You won’t remember that all stores, restaurants, schools and offices were closed. Or that daddy is fortunate to still have a job, as many people are without an income right now. You'll remember that daddy stayed home from work on your birthday to spend time with you.
You won’t remember the fear in people’s eyes at the grocery store as they shopped through half empty shelves. You’ll remember being my sous chef, peeling onions and cracking eggs, and planting a garden with me.
You won’t remember the panic on the nightly news watching the death toll numbers around the world rise. You’ll remember that mommy let you watch Frozen II and Toy Story 4 on a school night.
You won’t remember the bags under mommy’s eyes because I was up most of the night worrying. You’ll remember my delirious laughter shared with you over silly fart jokes.
You won’t remember caution tape barricading the playgrounds or that you couldn’t race your cars down the slide for the 1,000th time. You’ll remember the ‘Red Light, Green Light’ we played with our dog Coco in the grass fields and the daily neighborhood walks we spent as a family playing ‘I Spy’.
You won’t remember days the ‘homeschool post-it’ schedule was derailed. You'll remember the extra books we read at story time, because schedules are a little (ok, a lot) more flexible these days.
You won’t remember the countless concerts, sporting events, birthdays and playdates that were canceled. You’ll remember the endless playdates you spent connecting with friends and family over FaceTime.
Yesterday, you chose gratitude over self-pity. Your memories of this birthday won’t be what you didn’t get to do, they’ll be of our time spent together connecting. Is missing a few weeks of school, or canceling your birthday party or our trip to Hawaii really that big of a deal? Nope. Not for what’s at stake. People are fighting for their lives, many who lost their jobs don’t have money to put food on the table, medical professionals are risking their own lives to save those infected by COVID-19. The list goes on.
I can’t wait until we can look back on #Coronavirus as a part of yesterday. Until then, we’ll #stayhome and rely on Pinterest for ideas to keep you entertained, at home. We’ll continue to connect with our loved ones over FaceTime, help our neighbors, display your art projects in our windows for those walking the neighborhood to enjoy, count our blessings, choose resilience and #spreadlove. May we never take for granted time spent with loved ones again. #throughtheeyesofachild #nopitypartyhere
